F-I-T-A-A-D-R-I-T-Z

I got this inspiration from my sister. One day, when I and her was on the way to go back to my home. We went to a laundry first to pick up my clothes and put my clothes in there. I'm waiting in my car with my sister. She slept in the car with her legs on the couch and I can't sit properly because of her. Then she suddenly wake up and she mad to me. I don't why or maybe I forget it but she mad at me without any reasons why. Every time she feels uncomfortable or tired. She will always mad and she are so SO SELFISH!!! I wish I could kick out her from the car. So we fought. But she were over control and the only I could do is be quiet and shut my mouth. I kept what I want to say in my heat cause she won't listen and realize it anyway. So that's why I made this song.

Would you close your mouth
And try to listen
Open your mind
Don't get blind
Can you learn to feel... To feel

What people are feelings
Do you realize that you are not only the one who live in this world
Everything isn't always walked in the same way that you want...
Could you learn to accept...
Everything that has happen
Close your mouth and just try find another way to solve...
(Because) The world isn't just about you...

Now do you know...
That your emotions always depends on a situation
And your will never learn how to control it...
Your blocked the way to your dreams
Can you realize that your wish will never come true if you never want to learn...

Do you ever know what I'm thinking?
Can you feel what I've been feeling?
I know what your feeling
Just like the way that I'm feeling
Do you expect people to understands you...
But don't expect many people would understands you...
The only option is you to understands them...

I better close my eyes...
Don't want to look you anymore
I better be quiet
Cause I can't talk anymore...
Does anybody want to hear me...
They even don't care...
Deep inside my heart... I'm always cry

God...
Did you hear me...
I'm crying... Cause my heart are broken...
People won't understand...
Only You... Who Would understand me...

God...
Nobody would hear me... About my feelings...
I can't find another place... To tell...
That I am in love with someone...
Someone that you created
But you just created that person only one in this world
I don't want to lose him...
I never found someone like him before...

Why do I get a love like this...?
I'm to young to fall in love
where I should go if he doesn't want me?
My heart were already taken by him...
My life was incomplete...
Without his love
I'm not sure I could stand...
A life with no love
Oh God please give me the answer to my prayer...
The prayer from a young girl that we're in love...

God...
I can't sleep tonight...
I try to close my eyes but...
Still I can see his face...
Don't want to walk for another day...
I rather choose the time to stop
So I won't have to let go him anymore...
God...
I wish he could love me...
Cause it doesn't seem he reply my love...
Why would I still believe...
He would fall in love with me?
Give me the clue oh Lord...

God...
I want him to be happy...
God...
I want he knows... What I feel for him...
God...
Can he stay with me until the rest of my life...
God...
I wish people would agree... If I fall in Love with him... Can't they see that he is the grace from God?

Thank you God...
Cause you have created him...
I promise myself I would be good to him...
I love him with all my soul...
Give me a chance to be with him...
Please answer my prayer oh God... The prayer from a young in love

Turn on the keyboards
And I play...
Do...Re...Mi...
With my heart all that torn apart...

Take the paper
I began to write
Another stupid song about you
But this time I haven't got another words to put...
I'm running out of words... Of you
To describe you...

This Imperfect Song
I wrote for you...
For a perfect boy who came in my life...
Knocking the door of my heart...

I'm gonna sing this stupid song for you...
I'm sing it loud...
I don't know there is another way for you to know...
So you can hear and know about what I feel... And I sing...

I'm telling you...
You're so beautiful...
Like the moon shines above the night...
I want to tell
You are the angel of my life...
Who's guiding my life to the right path...
And there's no other boy... Who could fit the right pieces of my heart...
There's only you... The Perfect Boy... I Love You

Boy, I could tell... I've been crying of my life...
And when the joy comes in to my life...
Is when you come into my life...
Then you go...
There's pain left in my heart...

So I wrote a song for you...
Thought maybe it wasn't good enough...
For your goodness, your embrace, your grace... In my life...

I don't want to be just friend with you...
I don't want to lose you...
So tell me... If you love me or not...
Don't you ever hide your feelings...
I wish you love me too...


I'm tell you...
You are so beautiful...
Like the moon shines above the night...
I want to tell
You are the angel of my life...
Who's guiding my life to the right path...
And there's no other boy... Who could fit the right pieces of my heart...
There's only you... The Perfect Boy...
I will always... Love You

Love is like a rose...
When It's bloom it was so beautiful...
But it has many thorns
Watch out first when you touch it...

It was so beautiful...
So beautiful that make our eyes can't see...
If the pain are coming from ahead...
I don't know what to do...

If there someone who gives me a rose...
Better keep it red before it go wither...
But someday... It will go wither
As the petals falling down one by one...

Don't want to care...
If my hand was bleeding...
At least I could show that I really love you...
You make my life so beautiful...
Cause it really has meanings
I will try my best... To hold the pain...

Just like a rose that grows in your heart
Waiting to be take by someone
But if you're too long to keep it in your heart
The thorns will hurts you...
So full with pain
All that's left in your heart
Is the scars that won't go...

I'm afraid...
Afraid of you
Something is different about you
(From) The way I used to see you

I don't know
What's gotten me to be like this
I'm confused
I think I am in love with you

Somehow you are special
I never felt this way to you before
But I can't let this feeling
Controlling me
I know this is wrong

Could you stay away from me for awhile
I need time to calm down myself
Cause I don't want this love go so deep
This love is forbidden
No, I don't want you to get hurt in the end
Cause we walk on the wrong tracks
I have to fix this mess
Before it's too late
Could you just walk away...
Cause my love for you is forbidden

I couldn't stay calm
Thinking about you
I'm worrying you
I feel so agitated
When you weren't there with me
I used to be only playing games with you
But now I realize right now
This feeling is real
It's too dangerous to know
That I had a feeling for you
You better go before it's too late

I hope this isn't real
Maybe it's only my crazy thoughts
And I pray this is only a test...

Could you think what I've been thinking and the reasons that I'm walking away from you
And I did it all for you
Could you open your heart to feel what I feel
It doesn't mean that our friendship has to break
What I want is this feeling is gone

Ending : Wish that you and I will stay remain as friends
Wish you would understand me
Wish you could feel what I feel
I wish could change the reality
But I can't do nothing
Can we be together without having this Forbidden Love...

I'm afraid...
Afraid of you
Something is different about you
(From) The way I used to see you
I don't know
What's gotten me to be like this
I'm confused
I think I am in love with you

Somehow you are special
I never felt this way to you before
But I can't let this feeling
Controlling me
I know this is wrong

Could you stay away from me for awhile
I need time to calm down myself
Cause I don't want this love go so deep
This love is forbidden
No, I don't want you to get hurt in the end
Cause we walk on the wrong tracks
I have to fix this mess
Before it's too late
Could you just walk away...
Cause my love for you is forbidden

The other side of my heart are happy
To get a feeling like this
Deep inside I have to admit
It's beautiful
But why it comes out
From the wrong place
Found myself
That I'm stuck with you
If we look closely
We are a perfect piece
But the pictures we've create
It doesn't fit in
I can't force myself
To break the rules
Just because of you

Thousands times
I've been trying to forget you
Millions of seconds
I try not to think about you
Hundreds of words
that are probably I haven't spoken
But there's no way to get back
To the times we're used to be
Together

There are so many wishes
I've been praying
but there's no any answers
There are minutes I spend to imagine
If I could be together with you
But there are the times I try...
Oh I try... To forget you
The only option left is to let you go

But I find it's hard to let you go
The feelings are collide all together
I don't want to let go this feeling
Cause I won't find the same feeling
Like I have for you
Times that are spent still feel so worth it
There's still magic that's left in my heart
Cause I still believe
We can be together

We're still young
that's what you and people say
But does it really matter?
Rather to let myself losing you
There are millions people in the world
I guarantee there's none of them would be just like you

I know that you never want a girl like me
I know you won't ever love me
Wish that I know the reasons why
Won't you ever tell the truth
Knowing that would be better if I just let you go...

How do I suppose to forget you
If I couldn't erase you from my memory
How do I suppose to heal
If I still hold on you
How do I stop being crazy
If I still love you
The only thing I find it's hard to let you go...

What a hot hot Thursday
Even though it was raining outside
The Sweat that sticks on me
I can't stand it but I don't want to move anywhere

Sitting on a dirty old carpet
I can't go to the bedroom
Cause my sister locked the room from the inside
Oh Damn what I am supposed to get through the
Day...

There's no day without a problem
No rest, no stop
It keeps coming
Every time you finished a problem
There would be another that you need to solve
The only thing you need to think about
What is the answer...

I sleep on the living room couch
I don't care if I still wear my uniform
I'm tired of thinking the problem
I rather sleep and when I wake up
I just gotta do what I have to do
Yes I know every problem won't just go away
If I never find a way to end the problem
Just be strong,think and pray
Every problem has an answer

It's been a very long time. I wish I had a time to write more but things works differently forme. Damn I got lots of problems and last 27th October was my 14th birthday. Oh God, I'm getting older now. I should be more wise for dealing with any obstacles In my life but... It seems every time I'm getting older it seems there more problems coming ahead on me and I feel there's no rest. Every day there's a new problem comes and I just need to fix it or move on. But I can't stand living a live like this... You see just today my sister lock the door in our bedroom and the only thing I can do is sit on the carpet and write this post through my phone and my I feel so hot in here. I don't really care about how my body smells like. I need to go to Fuji Film to make a 3 x 4 photo for my OSIS form and my driver won't take me there. I want to take a part in a school organization called OSIS and I need to make a programs. God I really need to solve all these problems and I wish there is someone who's helping me. Oh God I only pray please give me a sign that I'm worth to be in the part of that OSIS organization, If not... Just please melt my father's heart for giving me a permission to go to the vocal courses... AMEN! One thing that I know for sure I have to deal it in order to show people I'm grown up. I have to think like an adult. I believe I can!